As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
