When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
