Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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