No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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