i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
