I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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