Ambien. No doubt about it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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