I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
