I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
