i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
