Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
