I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
