I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
