Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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