i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
