making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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