She's JV to your varsity
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
