I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
