Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
