Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

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(407): View more from Florida

at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions

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(847): View more from Illinois

as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.

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(801): View more from Utah

He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.

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(530): View more from California

I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "

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(352): View more from Florida

I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?

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