Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
