Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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