I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
