You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
