I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
