party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize