Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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