I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
