K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
