I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
