he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
