my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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