I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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