Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
