I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
