It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
