sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
