I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize