She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
