I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
