I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
