"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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