i can't believe i had my finger in that
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
