dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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