True but thats because hes a fetus.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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