I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
