i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
