She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
