is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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