More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
