I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize