I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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