I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize