haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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