I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
should my penis look like a turkey
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize