shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
