The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize