it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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