She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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