garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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