I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
this just has baby written all over it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
This is classic penis vs brain.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
