walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
