when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
