omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
