Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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