Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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