Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
