Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
