Do you still have your period?
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
