just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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