I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
