and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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