i just google imaged poop.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
