Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize