Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
