She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
