True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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