It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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