She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
