I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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