absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
