my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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