so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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