People in love make me want to vomit
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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